Merry Millennium Wishes
To the whole Woodward clan, our holiday wishes.
We had hoped to submit a greeting auspicious,
We wanted to write one that's sweet, full of treacle
But to tell you the truth, we're not that sort of people.
So we did what we could, we were nice-within reason
Wrote an Equalizer ode, that's just right for the season!
'Twas the week before Christmas in old New York City.
The weather was horrid, it sure wasn't pretty.
The cold and the snow had hit it real hard,
All the trains and the buses were stuck in the yard.
People couldn't go out, nor meet for a quickie.
The streets were deserted, except for our Mickey
He'd wandered in circles, three times he did fall,
He searched through the streets, for his good friend McCall.
He looked through museums, at the house by the sea,
He looked in the cheap bars, at a quarter to three.
He had searched the place over, and all around town.
No clue did he find. McCall couldn't be found.
Mick searched lots of places, no he couldn't pretend,
He was anxious, gosh darn it, just where was his friend?
He picked up a phone and he dialed Scott McCall,
The bell kept on ringing - no answer at all.
He went to the Company, he searched high and low,
Till he retrieved a voice mail from McCall's oldest foe!
Randall Payne had called Mickey, to rave and to gloat,
He said, "You won't save him, he's trapped on my boat.
Your time is short, so hurry and run,
Your dear friend is waiting, trapped under my gun."
Mickey was worried, what was he to do?
He had to be careful or he'd be caught too.
He drove to the docks, through thick falling snow.
The wind it was icy and boy did it blow!
The boats there were moving, like leaves on a tree,
He looked for the right one, oh where could it be?
His time running out, he had to decide
In which of the boats, McCall they would hide?
He saw a bright light as it flashed on and off,
A boat's engine started, it spluttered and coughed.
Running full speed, Mickey jumped in the air,
He landed with no noise, he had used great care.
He climbed to his feet, and he looked 'round some more,
He then saw a large man, who went through a door.
Mickey opened the portal, the sight did astound him.
It was packed to the gills with his friends all around him!
There was Alice and Sterno and Jimmy and Trudie.
"What the heck's going on here?" Mickey shouted quite rudely.
McCall walked up to him, said "Don't be a sap.
Get yourself in this room, and sit on Santa's lap."
"We saw you were angry, upset and depressed,
From your last horrid mission. Yes, it was a mess.
We wanted to help you and give you good cheer,
But you wanted no Christmas, no parties this year.
So I thought of a project to get you involved,
I knew that my missing would be something you'd solve."
"Merry Christmas Mick lad, you're surrounded by friends
All the people who love you and on you they depend.
We all got together, we thought it was right
To all be here with you, having Christmas tonight!"
Mickey walked 'round the room and first kissed his brother,
He greeted his pals, then they all kissed each other
Mick felt the warm glow, of goodwill at his fest,
Just one small thing more, would make it the best,
He lifted his glass of champagne as a toast
And shouted for quiet and called for the host.
"McCall, we all toast you, I want you to know,
That I'd follow behind you wherever you go.
For in the whole world, there is not more of a man
As you probably know, I'm your number one fan.
The best person forever, you're the one at the top,
And before I get mushy, one more thing, then I'll stop
To the world we all hope to be free from all strife
To my good friend McCall, I wish peace and long life."
This Christmastime poem was written cross water
by two screwy women and one of their's daughter.
One writer, has dark hair, the other's a blonde
They write stories together, from each side of the pond.
We both want to send you, best holiday wishes,
If we meet you in person, we'll serve crumpets and knishes.