Disclaimer: The Equalizer and all its characters are property of Universal and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Robert McCall sat alone at his private table in OíPhelanís, staring at the burning logs in the fireplace, a drink sitting on the table to his right. It was early November, two and a half months after Erinís death. While he wasnít constantly overcome with sorrow, he still missed her terribly. She was in his thoughts daily and constantly in his dreams. Last night he had dreamt about a conversation they had had, not long before her death. They had been talking while making loveÖ
It was about two weeks after they had returned from their vacation in Aruba. They had just finished a particularly sordid case concerning a pedophile that lured runaway children into the basements of various abandoned buildings and sexually abused them before finally killing them. Robert had felt the need to literally wash away the filth of what they had experienced and took a shower immediately upon their return to the apartment. He was delighted to have Erin join him. They held each other in the warm spray of water, letting the depression and disillusionment drain away with the water and soap. After they had washed, Erin hugged him from behind, her breasts flattened against his back and her cheek pressing against his shoulder blade. She ran a hand across his groin. Robert had thought himself too tired and depressed to consider making love, but his body responded strongly to her caress.
"Letís dry off, sweetheart," Robert said as he turned off the water, "I want to make love to you and forget the past forty-eight hours." Erin smiled eagerly and followed him onto the bed. Robert pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, savoring the light scent of soap and the perfume that she loved. Her hair was always so shiny and soft. He buried his face against it, slowly turning left and right, enjoying the silken feeling against his skin. Her soft skin was like velvet against his, her slender body soft over hard muscle.
"Tell me what I can do for you," Erin whispered, trembling with desire. Robert felt a thrill of excitement run down his back at her voice and the emotion it contained. She had done so many delightful things to his body in these past months, keeping him gasping with excitement for longer than he would have imagined. He remembered fondly the time she had inserted a vibrator into his ass as he straddled her on the bed, fucking her mouth. Then, there was the butt plug she had talked him into trying. Fucking her ass with the tip of the butt plug rubbing deliciously against his prostate gland was definitely memorable. She had caressed his entire body with silk once, licking the soles of his feet, his calves, his buttocks and anus, and finally his cock and scrotum through the soft material to the point of ecstasy before impaling herself on his rock hard erection and riding him to a shouting climax.
"Oh, dearest, I just want simple love now. Let me hold you and join with you and feel you so closely against me." Robert covered her body with his and kissed her slowly on her cheek, down her neck, sucked gently on her breasts, and listened to her moans of excitement and pleasure with gratification. If he could do anything right in this world, it was making love to this passionate and exotic woman. He knew he satisfied her and pleased her, just as she did him. It was a source of immense pride to know that he could create such desire in her.
"Tell me why you love me," he whispered against her stomach as he kissed down to her soft, smooth mons. His tongue found her clitoris immediately and licked from its tip down her slit to her anus. He circled the rosebud with his tongue several times as his hands held her legs tightly bent and widespread.
"Robert, darling," Erin gasped, "I love you because you are so incredibly dear to me. You are the focus of my life!" Robert sucked on her clit and stroked up and down her slit with his tongue as he thrust two fingers in and out of her cunt. Erin writhed with excitement and clutched his hair. Within seconds, she was gasping and arching her back as the waves of her orgasm encompassed her body. Quickly, before her excitement abated, Robert brought himself to his knees and plunged his cock deep into her cunt. Her vaginal muscles massaged his throbbing cock as he pounded his hips against her. Slowing a bit, Robert asked again.
"Tell me why you love me," he whispered, his voice harsh with exertion and excitement.
"Because we are the same, my love." Robert looked at her questioningly and slowed his thrusts even more. Erin smiled as she continued, "When I first met you, I was impressed by the power that you projected by force of personality. I recognized that force as your ability to do violence. For you and I, our lives have been defined by the violence around us and in us."
Robert moved from between her legs and laid on his side to curl himself around her. He pushed his cock between her legs and into her cunt as she lay on her back with her legs bent up over his.
"I donít understand what you mean," he said as he caressed one breast and slowly thrust his pelvis against her. Erin stroked his face as she answered.
"Darling, Iíve found that there are basically two types of people in the world. Ones that will do violence, either by chance, design, or necessity, and those that absolutely refuse, for one reason or another. In the people who will do violence, there are levels of danger that their personalities project. When I met you, I felt you projected a very high level of danger, indicating you can and will do violence at any given moment, given the justification to do so." Erin smoothed the frown from his brow. "Robert, Iím not trying to hurt or insult you. Iím not trying to diminish the pain or guilt you feel as a result of the violence you are forced to do, either. I guess itís because I can recognize this force in myself, that I can see its presence in other people. Mickey, for example, radiates danger almost always. Certainly you can see that."
"Yes, I think I understand," Robert said slowly as Erin rolled away from him and with her hand, pushed Robertís hip toward the middle of the bed, indicating she wanted him to lie flat on his back. Robert complied and watched in lustful anticipation as she straddled his hips and took his cock into her vagina, moaning slightly and rolling her hips to grasp him inside. He shivered with excitement as he watched her small breasts sway and felt her buttocks grind into his groin. Erin leaned forward to whisper into his ear.
"Personally, I found the danger you projected to be very, very sexy. I was so turned on that first day, I found it extremely hard to concentrate. The whole time you were talking, I was saying to myself, God, I would love to fuck this man right here and now. Forget the tea and Danish and drop your pants, boy!" As they laughed together, she ran her tongue along the edges of his ear and pulled the lobe into her mouth to suck on. Robert bucked his hips up against her as tingles ran down his back. Erin straightened and began to post up and down on his cock. Robert clutched a breast in each hand and massaged them in time with her rhythm. Their excitement grew together and Robert felt himself losing control, ready to let mindless pleasure rule his body. He grasped Erinís hips and pulled her pelvis down as he thrust up against her, again and again. He moan with excitement and felt his seed spurt into her lovely cunt as she joined him in release. Then Erin slumped down on his chest and snuggled her face into his neck.
"I love you," she said against his skin and placed several kisses along his jaw.
"I love you, dearest," Robert replied breathlessly, holding her tightly against him. Then, as he calmed, "Tell me more about your theory, please." Erin raised her head and rubbed noses with him, making him chuckle, as she collected her thoughts.
"Men project danger more than women do," she continued after a moment and placed her head on his shoulder. "I guess women are more demure, or are able to hide their true selves better than men. What did you think of me when we first met? Did I seem dangerous to you?"
"No, love, not at all. You seemed fragile and vulnerable. When you showed up on my doorstep, I wanted to hold you closely and protect you. I wanted you all to myself. I felt you were something of immense value that I wanted to jealously guard and possess. But I learned later that you were not at all fragile, didnít I?" Robert felt his penis slip from her and caressed her widespread buttocks. He began to explore her anus and vagina with his fingertips as he continued. "And while I admit to having thoughts similar to yours on the day we first met, I did not perceive you as anything other than what you presented yourself to be, small, gentle, and yes, demure. Thatís why it was such a shock to me that you were Dysonís famous Black Widow." Robert spread the wetness from her cunt to her anus, gently pushed a fingertip inside, and was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure. "But I think youíre right. Women do hide their tendency toward violence better than men do. Iíve seen your mask drop in different situations, though, and your Ďprofessionalí face become apparent." A squirm of increased pleasure was her reaction to his second finger inside her ass. He started to roll them and Erin hung on as he moved. Robert eased himself to his knees between her legs with his fingers still inside her. With his free hand, he explored her slit, caressing up and down, making sure his fingertips wandered over her clitoris while the other hand pushed and pulled his fingers in and out of her asshole. Erin held her knees to each shoulder and spread her legs as widely as possible, closing her eyes and luxuriating in these most intimate attentions. Robert watched her eyes close and her muscles tighten as abandon took her body. He felt his cock rising again as thoughts of fucking her tight little ass formed in his mind. Her climax passed through her in a series of peaks, each wave more intense than the previous, until she released her knees and held his hands still against her.
"OhhÖ Robert, my love, you know how to do the most incredible things to me!" Erin gasped. "You leave me without a shred of restraint or self control!" Robert pulled his hands from her intimate parts and leaned over her for a kiss. Blindly, he felt for the small bottle of lubricant on the nightstand. Finding it, he straightened and flipped the top open to allow its contents to flow onto his fingers. He spread the lubricant over her anus and onto his cock before lifting her legs onto his shoulders. Erinís rapt expression caught his attention and he smiled as he pushed the head of his cock against her. He felt the tight muscles relax and expand as he slowly pushed inside her. Erin moaned and curved her back into the softness of the sheets and mattress, pushing her pelvis toward him to aid the penetration. Robert slipped her legs from his shoulders and leaned forward to support himself on his knees and elbows as Erin wrapped her legs around his waist. He thrust in and out of her ass, slowly and deeply.
"So how are we alike?" Robert whispered. Erinís voice was low and strained with the passion she was feeling, fed by the delicious sensation of Robertís big cock in her ass.
"Neither of us back away from violence; sometimes, we even seek it, knowing what will happen, and accepting it because itís the right thing to do. Many times in both the company and your efforts to help people even now, the answer to a problem is to kill someone. Thatís where weíre alike. We both kill because itís the right thing to do. Weíre different, though, in that you feel remorse now, where I do not; or not yet anyway." Erin lost her train of thought when Robert placed his thumb on her clitoris and started rubbing it gently. "Oh, yes, darling, yes!" Robert felt her muscles tremble and watched with growing lust as Erin tossed her head back and forth in excitement. He pulled her legs back onto his shoulders and pounded against her. Erinís body surged into orgasm, lifting his upper body as she pushed her pelvis upward against his thumb on her clit. Robert continued rubbing her clitoris as her motions became wilder, enough to dislodge his cock as her motions pushed his shoulders away. She came again, shuddering and lifting her pelvis from the bed, her moans approaching shrieks. Robert removed his hand from her groin and rolled Erin onto her stomach. He lifted her hips so she could support herself on her knees. Erin kept her chest on the bed, her butt high in the air. Robert grasped her hips and sank his cock between her taut cheeks, deep into her hot asshole. He ground his groin against her, grunting and moaning with ecstatic pleasure. The wild excitement was building quickly and he let himself go, spurting his cum into her, gasping with exhilaration.
"Oh, ErinÖoh, love," he repeated over and over as he caught his breath and gently collapsed on top of her, his cock still inside her ass. Robert gently pushed his pelvis against her, feeling his now softened cock move in and out. Doing his best to stay inside her, Robert rolled to his side, holding Erin closely as he moved. They curled together. Spoons again, Robert thought, although most spoons arenít connected this way. He chuckled happily to himself.
"So, you were sayingÖ" Robert whispered when he caught his breath. He smoothed the hair away from Erinís face and lifted his head to watch her. Erin turned her face to him and laughed.
"You expect me to just pick up where I left off and remember what I was saying after all that? What a tease you are!" She turned her head back to rest on the pillow. "OkayÖwell, letís seeÖ I was saying weíre different because you have come to feel remorse when you have to kill someone and I donít, as yet. But I was also saying that our lives have been defined by violence. Itís obvious for me considering what I did in the Company, although I wished there were more missions that required rescues instead of assassinations. And what youíve chosen to do with your life after the Company very often results in violence of one sort of another. Thereís no getting away from it."
"I had always hoped that others would see me for the good things I have tried to do in my life, rather than the violence that pervades it," Robert said sadly. Erin turned her body toward him, losing their tenuous connection, and frowned in concern. She stroked his cheek as she spoke.
"Oh, sweetheart, Iím sure they do! I see you now in the light of all the love, tenderness, and affection you give to me every day. Iím sure there are those you have helped through the years who forget the violence that occurred and remember you for the help and concern you gave them. All I was saying is that for someone who lives with violence, itís easy to see violence in another. Thatís all. Darling, I hope I havenít hurt you!" Robert pulled her face to his and kissed her lingeringly, holding her tightly against himÖ
Robert snapped back to reality as he heard Pete OíPhelan moving toward him. He felt a little chagrinned, wondering how long he had sat there daydreaming. All of the restaurantís patrons and staff appeared to have left.
"Robert, are you alright?" Pete asked carefully as she moved around his chair to study his face. It had been so long since he had smiled with any kind of happiness or contentment, she thought with concern. Her eyes swept over him as she moved to sit across from him at the table. She caught the unmistakable bulge in his trousers as she passed.
"Oh, yes, thank you. Iím fine," Robert said quickly. He straightened in his chair and pulled his suit jacket closed over his lap. He hadnít realized his body would betray his thoughts so clearly. Pete reached over the table to take his hand from where it rested and held it tightly.
"I know Iíve said it before, Robert, but if thereís anything I can do to help you, all you have to do is let me know." She gazed at him affectionately.
"Thank you. Youíre a good friend." Robert smiled at her and rose to his feet. "I really should be going home." Pete rose with him and stepped forward to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek. She was surprised when he responded to the closeness by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her gently against him. She let her body relax against him and her hands rest on his shoulders. She could feel his slightly softening erection against her thigh. Then Robert looked directly into her eyes.
"Pete, do you see me as a violent person?"
"No, of course not, Robert. Where did you get that idea?" Pete cocked her head quizzically as she spoke.
"Oh, itís just something that Erin said once," Robert responded with a far away look on his face.
"You still grieve for her," Pete said softly, searching his face. "Look, I donít know if it will help, but maybe I can offer you a littleÖ forgetfulnessÖ that might make you feel better." Pete pulled away from him and took Robertís hand to lead him into her office. She shut the door firmly and brought him to the couch. Robert sat down and looked at her questioningly. Pete sat beside him and took both his hands into her lap.
"I know Iím not young and beautiful like Erin was, but I can still offer you care and affection." She leaned forward and Robert framed her face with his hands before kissing her lips gently.
"Of course you can, and I sincerely appreciate your care and concern," Robert whispered as he pressed kisses to her face and forehead. He leaned back on the couch, pulled her head to his chest, and stroked her hair. Pete wrapped her arms around his waist, listening to his quick breathing and rapid heart beat. Robert must be working through some sort of internal battle, she thought. She raised her head to look at him, catching the far away look in his eyes. But then he sat them up and holding her tightly, buried his face against her neck, kissing and lightly nipping her skin. Pete felt ripples of forgotten excitement run down her back and caressed his hair.
"Robert," she purred, her voice low and throaty. "Iíve always wondered what it was like to be close to you. Please donít stop."
"Donít worry," Robert whispered, placing a few more kisses on her cheek. He stood and removed his suit jacket and tie, and kicked off his shoes. Pete could see his erection pressing urgently against his trousers and reached forward to run her fingertips along its length. Robert audibly caught his breath and Pete laughed softly in the back of her throat. What am I doing, he thought as he felt the exciting tingles generated from her caress on his cock. He looked down at Pete, lounging on the couch. She is still a beautiful woman, he thought, more along the line of what my taste in women was before Erin. Slender, but with generous hips and soft, round breasts. Yes, I could find forgetfulness between those lovely orbs. He held his hand out to Pete and she stood to take it in hers. Robert pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her to search for the zipper on her dress. He found it and pulled it downward as Pete stepped out of her shoes and pushed them away with one foot. Robert pulled the dress forward off her shoulders, kissing them and working his way down to her cleavage. Pete shrugged out of the dress, caught it as it fell, and tossed it over the arm of the couch as Robert kissed and nipped the delicate skin over her bra. His fingers miraculously freed the hooks of her bra, and pulled it forward as well, releasing her breasts, and letting it drop to the floor.
"Pete, youíre beautiful," Robert murmured as he cupped her breasts in his hands and buried his face between them. Straightening, he pushed her gently down on the couch and knelt beside it to raise her slip. She was wearing a garter belt and stockings underneath her silken panties. Robert ran his lips lightly over the skin of her legs over the stockings, causing Pete to tense and moan. He licked her mons through the panties and nipped a bit of the material between his teeth, pulling it downward. Pete assisted with the downward descent of the underwear as Robert continued to tug it with his teeth to her knees. With her pussy now fully exposed, Robert pushed the underwear down her calves with his hands and kissed her legs through the stockings, working his way up to her dark cleft. He had parted her legs and stroked her pussy lips lightly with his fingertips, intent on finding her clit when Pete placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him upwards.
"Robert, I want you inside me, nowÖ please." Her face was suffused with lust and desire. Robert smiled and stood to unfasten his trousers and release his cock from its confines. He positioned himself between Peteís widespread legs and slowly thrust inside her wet, warm cunt. Pete wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled his face to her chest. As he slowly pumped in and out of her, Robert nuzzled her warm soft flesh, listening to Peteís moans of pleasure. Images of Erin came unbidden to his mind, but he pushed them away, concentrating on the warm and giving woman beneath him.
"Faster, deeper," Pete whispered into his ear and arched her back to feel his deeper penetration. Robert pounded himself against her, wanting to please her, and looking for that ecstatic release himself. Pete moaned loudly and plunged into an orgasm, her body shuddering and trembling beneath him. My God, sheís exciting, he thought.
"Yes, darling, cum for me again." Robert slowed his pace, but pushed deeper and deeper into her with every stroke. Pete turned her head back and forth on the cushion as her excitement built again and in seconds, writhed with another orgasm. Robert felt himself ready to cum and pounded harder against her.
"Oh, Pete, youíre wonderful," he gasped as his seed spurted into her. He carefully relaxed his body on top of her, delighting in the feel of her arms around his neck and shoulders.
"Robert, youíre the one thatís wonderful," Pete whispered against his cheek. "Itís been so long. I havenít been with anyone since Mark died. I had almost forgotten how exciting making love is!"
"Well, I would be happy to reacquaint you again, whenever you think itís right, dear," Robert murmured in between kisses on her neck and chest. "Iíll leave it to you to let me know when. I donít want to push you into anything."
"Robert, I appreciate your patience. Neither of us should rush into anything, but I would love to be with you again." Her voice cracked with emotion as she held him tightly.
I could get used to this, Robert thought, I could get used to this very easily. He closed his eyes and relaxed against her.
The door buzzer sounded about nine oíclock the next morning. Robert had risen late, having gotten a better than usual nightís sleep. Still in his robe and pajamas, he padded to the door and looked out the peephole. Oh, no, he groaned to himself at the sight of Kay, his ex-wife. An odd anger rose inside him and he pulled open the door sharply.
"What brings you here so early, Kay?" Robert growled, trying to hold down his anger.
"I need to talk to you about our son," Kay answered primly, complying with his wave inside. "Scott has proposed to a woman years older than he is and I want you to stop the marriage." She stopped inside the living room and looked about expectantly. "Where is this Vietnamese urchin I hear youíve taken up with?" Robert closed his eyes as he searched for control.
"Erin was not an urchin! She was thirty-five when I met her, thirty-seven when I married herÖ"
"Married her!" Kay said caustically, completely missing the fact Robert had spoken in past tense. She stalked about the living room in anger as her voice rose. "You actually married that tramp!"
"Kay!" Robert grated. "Stop! You know nothing of Erin!" He slumped to the stool by the kitchen bar and held his head in one hand with the elbow on the counter. "As I was saying, she was thirty-seven when I married herÖ" His voice broke, "Öand thirty-eight when she died. Not at all an urchin. She was a lovely and incredibly giving woman." Kay stopped her pacing and looked penetratingly at Robert.
"Scott didnít tell me she died," she said suspiciously. Then she perceived the utter sadness that was in his voice when he had spoken. "Robert, I didnít think you couldÖ"
"You didnít think I could love anyone else more than I had ever loved you?" Robert roared, interrupting her. "Woman, you are beyond all patience!" He stood clenching his fists, glaring at her. Kay backed up noticeably.
"I guess this is not a good time to talk about Scott. But I need your helpÖI-I cannot allow thisÖum, I will be in contact." She hurried to the door and left.
It was then that Erinís remark about the force of his personality projecting danger came to mind again. Oh, God, Erin, he thought, I guess you were right. He sagged back to the bar stool and wiped his face with his hand. A snicker escaped from him as he thought about how quickly Kay had left when he was about to lose his temper. Maybe not a bad thing when used carefully, he thought, laughing out loud. Maybe not a bad thing at all.