Disclaimer: The Equalizer and all its characters are property of Universal and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
For the next two weeks of Erinís recovery from the mission in South Viet Nam, Robert McCall watched over her and took every opportunity to hold her closely. He seemed to be a man consumed with the desire to protect her from any and all outside distractions while she healed. The debriefing with Control had been intense for Erin, reliving each step of the mission and itís disastrous ending. McCall paced outside the glass walls of Controlís office, bristling and peering inside each time the volume of their voices raised. Control concentrated on getting the details that would bring the situation with Eastern Control to an end. He took some decisive steps, Cain found out later, which cowed Eastern Control for months. Itís too bad I couldnít be a part of that, she laughed to herself, but I was not quite well enough. Besides, it would have been too soon to leave Robert again. Heís just getting used to the idea of living one day at a time. Then Control shared his side of the story with Erin, leaving out only the part of how much he loved her. Erin found herself quite touched by the emotion that Control was letting her see. Her first impressions of Control had been quite mistaken. His seeming micromanagement was actually a fierce protectiveness.
Mickey Kostmayer arrived for a visit the day after Erin and Robert had returned to the apartment. The quiet young man wished her well and pulled McCall aside to ask questions. It didnít take long for Mickey to see that McCall was hopelessly in love. Mickeyís heart surged with happiness for his friend and mentor. He had also heard about the professional prowess of this new arrival. Secrets were hard to keep within the Company. Funny, as much as McCall wants to get away from the Company, something or somebody keeps sucking him back in, he thought. Sucking, Kostmayer laughed to himself in a moment of gritty, ribald humor, I wonder if she does that, too.
In the meantime, Robert was content. Erin was recovering beautifully. The stitches were eventually taken out of her various wounds and the bruises that had blossomed in bright reds and blues were now fading to green, well on their way to healing. The only evidence of her ordeal to the uninformed eye was the splint on her left wrist and a fading bruise on her forehead. They hadnít made love again, mostly on McCallís insistence. He was afraid of re-damaging her still healing ribs, broken in the fall from the helicopter. Erin thought that was nonsense, knowing there were many ways of accommodating. But she bided her time, knowing that when he was ready, they would take up where they left off. They slept together, at least, he gently cuddling her against him, concerned that his nighttime movement might bump or rub against a sore spot. His care, concern, and loving touch were wonderful and Erin drank it in like an intoxicating elixir.
Calls for the Equalizer arrived occasionally, though none of them required an extensive portion of McCallís time. When he had to leave, McCall phoned Mickey, Jimmy, or Ginger to come keep an eye on Erin while he was gone. Erin had the chance to learn much about her lover, seen through the eyes of his friends. A friendship developed with Mickey, who was curious about her missions for Southern Control in the past. He shared details of his harrowing missions and they laughed together about how all the best-laid plans went entirely to hell, too many times.
On this afternoon, Robert was toying with the idea of making love to Erin again. When they slept together, he would have nightly erections as he cuddled against her, the warm skin of her buttocks against his groin. He calmed himself by cataloging the injuries she had, wondering when they would stop hurting her, and ordering himself to be patient. At the moment, Erin was lying under a blanket in the den. She had risen late in the day and showered before falling asleep once again on the couch. It must the concussion, he told himself, that makes her sleep so much. He walked over to the couch and sat on the edge beside her. She was sleeping on her side with the blanket covering the lower half of her face. He drew it back far enough to caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers. Erin roused and moaned slightly before opening her eyes and smiling at him. The blanket slid further down with her movements and he realized she was completely naked beneath it. He smiled. You little vixen, he thought as his fingers traced the descent of the blanket across her back and shoulders. You certainly know how to get me going. As Erin turned onto her back, Robert tugged the blanket down to reveal her breasts. Mischief in his eyes, he bent his head to lick each one liberally and then proceeded to blow lightly on the wet flesh. Erin felt her nipples harden painfully and felt chills run down her back.
"Oh, you monster," she chided, covering her chest and drawing up her knees. "Youíre just here to torture poor little helpless me, you heartless ogre!"
"I donít think you know what real torture is, my dear," McCall whispered as he thrust an arm underneath her knees and lifted her legs over his head so she ended face down against the pillows and her bare bottom was across his lap. With one hand in the middle of her back, holding her down, and the other holding her legs, he licked patterns across her buttocks, stopping now and then to blow on the wet lines and gently nip with his teeth at her goose-bumped flesh. Erin squealed and squirmed, laughing between expressions of indignation and appeals to stop hurled at him in Chinese and Russian. Robertís laughter got the best of him and he had to stop, breathless, leaning his head against her back, kissing her and chuckling against her skin.
"Okay, so now I know what real torture is," Erin gasped as she rolled over to sit up with her legs across his lap. Robert grasped her tightly against him and pulled her bottom between his legs. "You are a monster."
"You called me more than that in Chinese, Iím sure," Robert laughed, reaching to softly pinch her behind.
"Yes, well, youíre better off not knowing," Erin conceded with a wide grin. "I counted on you not understanding what I was saying."
Robert looked deeply into her eyes, knowing the joy in his heart was showing in his face. Erin could see his contentment and felt her heart and throat tighten in happiness. They leaned together for a long, satisfying kiss. Robert caressed her breasts with his free hand and felt her muscles tighten in excitement as he caressed her stomach and the line where her thighs came together.
"Bedroom," Erin murmured against his lips, not wanting to break the kiss.
"No," Robert replied, "too far away." He allowed himself to slip off the couch and turn so that he was kneeling between her legs. He pulled her forward against him and kissed her neck and throat before moving down to suck on her breasts. Erin arched her back and made soft sighs of pleasure. He kissed down her stomach and licked swirls around her navel. Erin giggled and leaned back, inviting him to caress between her legs. Robert placed a leg on each of his shoulders before leaning in to kiss and lick her labia, taking his time. Erin moaned and thrust her hips toward him, wanting him to find her clitoris and thrust his tongue into her vagina. Robert raised his hands to caress her buttocks and slowly worked two fingers of one hand into her vagina. His tongue licked up the slit to her clitoris and he darted the top across it, back and forth, then licked up and down. His fingers rhythmically thrust in and out of her cunt. Erinís thighs ached as her muscles tensed in excitement. Robert removed his fingers from her vagina and thrust them into her anal cavity, causing Erin to moan deeply and undulate her hips against his face. Robert thrust his tongue into her vagina and slowly licked up to her clit. Erinís breathing was raggedly uneven as she felt the excitement rising in her lower abdomen and her clit engorge to itís utmost sensitivity. Robert tongue-fucked her again and again, each time licking up to her clit. He finger-fucked her ass as he sucked on her clitoris, causing her to rock back and forth in exquisite excitement. Erin was to the point of shrieking when the orgasm took her, again and again and again. Robert slowed his movements, feeling fatigue affecting her responses, and slowly removed his fingers from her ass, drawing them out while he dropped kisses all over her pussy, and watched her tense and twitch when he touched her now overly sensitive clit.
"How are you doing," Robert asked gently as he kissed his way back up her stomach.
"Wonderful," Erin panted, trying to get her breath back. "You are the most giving and wonderful lover I could ever imagine." She sat up and hugged him close against her. "Guess what? Iím not hurting, either."
"I was worried that you would," said Robert, his face nestled against her chest. He closed his eyes and held her close. After a moment, he stood and opened his trousers. His erection stood out against his underwear. Erin eyed him with a smile and stood to assist him in removing his clothing. Robert sat back on the couch and pulled Erin astride him. She grasped his cock with both hands and caressed up and down the hard shaft. Robert encouraged her to kneel erect while he positioned his cock between her legs. Erin descended down onto him, feeling the breathtaking fullness of him as she took him completely inside her vagina. With Robertís hands clasping each cheek of her butt, she began tightening the muscles of her vagina and rolling her pelvis to clasp him tightly inside. Robert moaned and clutched her butt cheeks tighter. Presently, Erin began to post up and down on his cock, increasing his excitement dramatically. Robertís hands moved to her thighs, guiding her motions until he came, pumping his cum into her hot cunt, gasping in exhilaration.
"Oh, Erin, I love you. I love you," he panted as he sat up to hug her tightly. He planted wet kisses all over her breasts and chest. Erin caught his head and held it tightly to her, caressing his silver hair.
"I love you, too, Robert, I do," Erin crooned into his hair over and over again. She relaxed and sat back on his lap, looking at his beaming face. "Is that what they call a Ďshit-eatin griní here in the u-nited states?" she giggled, shaking her head. Robert laughed with her and stood to hold her tightly against him.
"You make me so happy, my love," Robert told her. "I could grin all day. Say, how about dinner at Peteís? Iím starving and you havenít had anything to eat all day."
"Iím up for that," Erin stated as she pulled him toward the bedroom.
They showered together, Robert caressing her into a soapy orgasm before they were done. With the covering noise of the water, Erin shouted her ecstasy aloud. Robert laughed as he quieted her with kisses, wet hair streaming in their faces. They laughed, teased and giggled all through getting dressed, driving to OíPhelanís, and their first drink before dinner.
"Sheís back," Pete said to Jeremy, watching them from the bar. "Iím so happy for him. She brings out character in Robert I never knew he had. I hope Control doesnít show up to spoil it for them."
As if on cue, Control entered the restaurant. Pete and Jeremy groaned together and held their breath. As he saw Control approaching their table, Robert stood up and grasped Controlís hand heartily.
"Control! Itís good to see you," he said as he pumped Controlís hand. Control turned to Erin and was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Control held her closely, his face buried in her hair. When he raised his head, McCall saw tears in his friendís eyes. Control took a deep breath and gently released Erin from his embrace.
"Iím pleased to see you healthy and happy, both of you," Control whispered harshly, trying to cover the deep emotion he had let slip out. Robert put his hand on his friends arm, knowing what this expression had cost Control.
"Please, sit with us and have dinner," he invited the man. Control shifted his feet and looked searchingly at each of them before answering. He saw nothing but the earnest hope of his company in each of them.
"No, no thank you. Not just now. Iíll catch up with you at your apartment one of these days for a drink. I have to go now. I just wanted to come in and be sure youíre okay. Iíll see you soon." Control took a deep breath as he tightened his lips together and turned away. Erin and Robert, as well as Pete and Jeremy, watched after him as he left. Robert also took a deep breath.
"There goes an extremely lonely man," he said as he exhaled slowly, filled with sadness for him. "I hope heíll come to visit soon."
"Me, too," Erin said. "Iíve come to miss him, somehow."
Robert chuckled, "Remember you said that when you get notified of your next mission." He looked up to find Jeremy bringing a tray with their dinner steaming on top of it. "Letís have a good time and face Control again when the time comes. It will be soon enough."
Erin smiled and nodded her head.
"Youíre right, youíre very right."
McCall answered the quiet knock to find Control waiting outside the apartment door.
"Itís a bit early for that visit and drink you promised, isnít it, Control?" McCall chided after his initial greeting.
"Itís business, Robert, I need to talk to Erin. I have a mission for her."
McCall steeled himself against reacting to the news.
"Oh, well, I will get her for you. Sheís still in the bedroom." Robert left Control standing in the living room and strode down the hall. He found Erin getting dressed. Erin smiled at him as he entered the room, but then caught the look of consternation on his face. He leaned against the door with his hands thrust into his trousers pockets.
"Robert, whatís wrong?"
"Control is here to see you. He says he has a mission for you." Erin felt her heart tighten.
"Itís been over a month since I was hurt, so thatís plenty of time to get back on my feet. Iím sure heís calculated it that way," she said, hoping to make Robert see the logic of the situation. "It will be okay. Iím doing fine."
"Yes, I know youíll be fine. This is the Ďone day at a timeí part that I have a hard time with."
"Letís find out the details, or let me find out the details, and weíll know how much time we have before I have to leave and how long it should be before I return." Erin approached him and put her arms around his neck. Robertís arms went around her automatically and squeezed her tightly, his left hand brushing down her back to squeeze her buttock. He moved his right hand from her back to caress her breast as he kissed her. Then he dropped his hands to his sides and stepped from in front of the door.
"Onward, MacDuff," he whispered to her as they entered the hallway and walked to meet Control. Erin chuckled quietly and turned back to smile at him. They found Control still standing in the middle of the living room, obviously waiting impatiently.
"I need you to come with me, Erin," Control said quickly. "I need to brief you on the mission and get your opinion on the secondary goals. Youíll have to come to my office to do that. I came to give you a ride."
"I can bring her down," McCall started to say, but was cut off by Control.
"NoÖno, Robert. I donít know how long it will take. Iíll bring her back as soon as possible to get ready to leave. Erin, please."
Erin cast a troubled look at Robert, who was standing against the kitchen counter with a carefully composed face. His breathing was ragged, but he fought down his emotions. I knew she would have to leave again, he told himself, but I hoped it wouldnít be this soon. Erin nodded her acceptance to Control and left for the bedroom to gather a few things and get her coat. Control stepped into the kitchen, closer to McCall.
"Robert, itís important. There is very urgent business that needs to be done."
"Oh, itís always important, and always urgent, Control," Robert replied sarcastically. He looked down at the floor. "No, Iím sorry, I know she has to go," Robert said with pain in his voice, "Itís not easy for me, you know. But I recognize the Company is as much of her life as I am at this point. I canít stop her from going without risking the fabric of our relationship. Just be sure she gets a chance to say goodbye before she leaves, okay?" Robert looked searchingly at his old friend.
"Donít worry, old son. Iíll have her back to you soon." Control laid his hand on Robertís shoulder and squeezed it.
Erin returned to the room and saw the final gesture between the two men. For the first time, she had second thoughts about returning to the Company and carrying on with these dangerous missions. If it was going to take this much out of Robert every time she left, could she continue to do that to him, time after time?
Control turned to find Erin waiting and made for the door.
"Iíll meet you downstairs," he said and left quietly. Erin turned toward Robert, her face troubled.
"Now, you just go and donít worry about me," Robert said with forced cheer as he pulled her into his arms for a quick hug. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her gently. "Go," he said, turning her shoulders toward the door with both hands. As she started to move, he leaned forward and pinched her on the butt. Erin giggled and looked goodbye at him over her shoulder as she walked toward the door.
"Iíll be back as soon as possible," she said and slipped out. Robert left the kitchen and sought a book in his den to catch his attention until she returned.
Alone with Control for the first time in over a month, Erin felt his manner with her had changed. He was more considerate. He asked her opinion about things, instead of merely giving orders. He also held himself closer to her, although never touching, but definitely closer, as if to cast a shadow of protection over her. Their lunch together was enjoyable, talking about casual things, laughing occasionally. They avoided business during their meal and found themselves sharing small confidences with each other. Erin was astounded. She had never found herself to be so wrong in her first impression of someone.
Control, on the other hand, was in agony the entire time they were together. He knew he hid it well, and did his best to be amiable and charming, but his desire for Erin was tearing him apart. He had to work hard to keep his professionalism up front and not let his personal feelings affect his work, particularly his assignments for her. They were always dangerous, but he also knew Erin was the type of agent who lived for the danger as much as for the purpose of the mission.
The time frame for the mission was seven days, two each way for traveling and getting set up, three to accomplish the goals. Mickey Kostmayer would be the team leader, assigned to accomplish the demolition of the arms cache a group of terrorists had amassed in Kuwait. Erin would infiltrate the headquarters and eliminate the known leaders. Possible informants would be identified and secured for later pickup. Control would brief Erin of the collateral goals while on the plane.
Control returned Erin to Robertís apartment in the early evening. She found him mildly intoxicated and overjoyed to see her. He grabbed her into a tight bear hug.
"I can see how youíve been passing your time," as she wrinkled her nose to his boozy breath.
"Donít worry, Iím always up to the challenge," Robert replied with a leer and pinched her on the butt again.
"What is this with the pinching, all of a sudden?" Erin squealed with a laugh.
"I donít know, itís just that theyíre soÖpinchable," Robert teased, gently pinching and grabbing her butt. Erin squirmed her hands free and tickled his ribs. They writhed together, tickling and grabbing each otherís asses until they fell to the couch, breathless with laughter.
"I can see Iíll have to have a drink out of self-defense," Erin gasped as she tried to catch her breath.
"Oh yes!" Robert proclaimed. "A drink, dinner, wild, kinky sex, and not necessarily in that order." He sobered suddenly. "When do you have to leave?"
"Early tomorrow, about three a.m." Erin smiled sadly, and then tickled Robert again. "So whatís first, dinner or kinky sex?"
"A drink for you and dinner for the both of us first, I think, or Iíll collapse from excess alcohol and nothing in my stomach. And the sex doesnít have to be kinky, I promise. Erin, I love you."
Erin felt tears start in her eyes. Why did he have to be so damn loveable when she had to prepare herself mentally for the upcoming mission? Erin hugged him savagely to her.
"Iíll always love you," she whispered into his ear. Robert picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
The time to leave came much too quickly, or course. Their lovemaking had been bittersweet, wildly physical, and ended with tight hugs, tender kisses, and a few tears. Erin quickly packed what she would need before they caught a few hours of sleep. There would be plenty of time to sleep on the plane, what with Controlís watchful protectiveness. Robert drove her slowly to the departure point, the car filled with mutual silence as they both prepared themselves for the upcoming week.
"You donít mind if I donít get out?" Robert asked her softly when they reached the tarmac, and placed his hand on her cheek.
"No, I understand. Robert, I will be back in no time, I assure you. This mission is a piece of cake."
"I knowÖ, I know, itís okay. Go ahead, darling, I will see you soon." Erin grasped his hand to kiss the palm quickly before sliding from the car seat with her bag and heading for the waiting group. She turned to wave, pleased to see him wave back. In a few minutes, the team was aboard the jet and it was taxiing across the tarmac. Robert slammed his hand against the carís steering wheel. "Bloody hell!" he exploded. "Bloody hell, sheís gone again!"
Seven days later, Robert roused after having falling asleep on the living room couch in the late evening. There was a loud pounding on his door. He had been waiting for Erin to call, or something, to let him know she was back.
"McCall, McCall!" Mickeyís voice sounded from the other side. McCall dashed to open the door.
"Mickey, youíre back! Whereís Erin?" McCall had a wide grin on his face.
"I donít know where she is, but there is something you have got to know about this china doll youíve become so enamored with! Iíve seen stone killers before, but none with the style she has! You wouldnít believe it!" Mickey answered as he entered through the door and started pacing around the living room.
Robert sagged to the couch as he searched for a reply. He had told himself that he could keep this part of her life separate from their lives together. Now it threatened to undermine his mental discipline. His heart quaked.
"Mickey, I know all about the Black Widow and the way she carries out her assignments," he said, purposefully not using her name. "She was trained by Richard Dyson, personally, to gain maximum, purposeful shock effect in her assassinations. Dyson used to brag about it. Now Control is using her for the same purpose. It is effective, donít you agree?"
"Yes, but this is the person that you sleep with, and I know you tell her that you love her! Donít you understand that sheís a cold-blooded killer?"
"And what are you, Michael Kostmayer, demolitions expert and team leader? You happily blow people apart without a second thought, on orders. Do you place that much distance between yourself and the Black Widow?"
"I donít evidently get the same God-awful kick out of it as she does, Robert! She had detached heads piled in a corner of a room! The bodies were gutted and laying all over the room!"
"Shock effect, Mickey, shock effect. Control wanted to send a message. I have no doubt that he suggested some of the means of the carnage you saw. She was only following orders."
"You had better hope she was, McCall, you had better hope! Otherwise you have the biggest viper in your nest that you can ever imagine!" Mickey stalked toward the door. "Iím out of here! I need to work off some of this off! I need to go somewhere and get blind, fucking drunk and then puke the horror of what Iíve seen out of my system!" Mickey tore open the door and slammed it behind him.
McCall had risen to follow Mickey to the door and now returned to the couch to slump dejectedly onto its cushions. He put his hands on his head and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. Erin, oh Erin, he thought, why did this have to happen? You were much better off in Dysonís hellhole in Southeast Asia. Now youíve fallen in love with me and I donít know if I can handle our life together! What am I going to do! He rose to pace about the apartment. There were signs of Erin everywhere. She was now an integral part of his life. Sending her away would be like chopping off a limb, or cutting out his heart. He couldnít do it. He remembered she would often shower in the morning and lay naked on the sofa in the den, wrapped in her favorite blanket, waiting for him to find her. The blanket lay on the sofa now. He picked it up and held it to his face, inhaling her scent, rubbing the softness of it against his face. He sat down, letting his mind go blank, deciding to wait for her return with no judgment made, determined to fairly hear her side of the story if she would tell it.
An hour later, the doorbell buzzed. McCall awoke from his reverie and strode to the door. A quick check through the peephole identified Erin and Control standing outside. Even through the peephole, he could see Erinís face lined with fatigue. He opened the door.
"Erin! Control! Come in, come in." He pulled Erin tightly into a hug, the joy in his soul blotting out his earlier doubts.
"Robert, I am so happy to be home," Erin said against his chest, glorying in the smell of him. She closed her eyes and reveled in the moment. She had anticipated this homecoming for the last two days. Robert looked up from Erin to study Control. He saw pain fleeting before Controlís eyes before it disappeared.
"Control, how are you? What about that drink together that you promised? Will you stay?" Robert said as he kept Erin tight against him.
"I need to catch up on whatís happened at the office before I can relax. I just brought Erin home before heading back. Itíll have to wait until another time." Control extended his hand to Robert and they shook hands firmly. "Iíll see you later, old son. Goodbye, Erin." He turned and left.
Robert and Erin looked at each other for a long moment before they parted.
"I missed you," Erin said softly.
"Oh, I missed you," Robert whispered harshly, searching her face. "I missed you terribly. I even started sleeping with your favorite blanket, pretending it was you."
"You did not, wiseguy," Erin laughed. She felt the fatigue of the last few days fall away. All she wanted to do was to lay next to Robert and share the glory of their love and their bodies together. She had thought of him unceasingly since the mission was over and they started on their way back.
Suddenly the phone rang.
"Robert McCall," he answered after he pulled Erin with him to the phone.
"Robert," Control said from his car phone, "Can you talk privately? That is, away from Erin?"
Oh God, no, Robert thought desperately. Do I have to deal with this now? He held the phone receiver against his chest.
"Erin, dear, would you give me a few moments?" Erin looked at him curiously and then smiled. She headed toward the bedroom.
"Alright, Control, whatís going on?" McCall held his breath as Control answered.
"Kostmayer stumbled on to the results of Erinís assignment before I realized what had happened. He was pretty upset. Has he been to see you?" Robert let his breath out in a deep sigh.
"Yes, yes, he tried to tell me that I had a viper in my nest and that I was insane to keep her."
"Did you tell him she was following my orders?" Control demanded.
"Of course I told him she was following orders. He was too upset to think clearly. I think it will penetrate in the next few days. Donít worry, heíll be alright."
"Itís not Kostmayer that Iím worried about, old son, itís you and Erin. Hearing what happened, are you alright with this?"
"Iíve convinced myself that Erinís life with the Company is completely separate from my life now. This is the test, obviously. Weíll either make it, or not, at this point." Robert sighed again. "I canít bear to lose her. Weíll have to get through this."
"Iím glad to hear it, old son, really. Despite my own feelings, I am honestly happy for you and Erin. Robert, you take care, and take care of her."
"I will, Control, I will. And thank you." Robert quietly hung up the phone. From behind him, he heard Erinís cautious voice.
"Did you tell who I was following his orders." Robert turned slowly to look at her. She was wrapped in her favorite blanket, her bare shoulders protruding as she held it closed in front of her. Robert walked toward her and pulled her into a hug, his head on top of hers.
"Mickey," he answered sadly. "Mickey evidently walked into the room after you had Ďdisposedí of the Qa Serda leadership."
"He had no business there," Erin rasped as she pulled away from him. "Who is he to criticize? He blew to bits anyone guarding that arms depot without any second thoughts. He was bragging about it on the way back! What did he do? Come and make sure you knew all about it?"
Robert saw the cold professional that Erin normally kept hidden reveal itself on her face. Her eyes drooped to slits, her jaw stiffened, and he could feel the cold fury emanating from her. Robert knew that if Mickey was here, he would be in dire threat of his life. Erin stopped her movement around the room and stood glaring at him as she awaited his answer. Oh God, he thought, I never wanted to see her like this. Has this ruined us? What can I do? McCall searched for an answer.
"You are right, Erin my dear, you are right. He has no right to criticize what you are ordered to do. I told him as much." Robert saw the look of fury fade from Erinís face as she realized the import of his words. He was defending her, she realized. He was defending her admittedly outrageous actions, done on Controlís order, against his friend and associate. She looked at the floor. Robert saw her shoulders drop and she seemed about to become overwhelmed with emotion and fatigue. He ran to catch her as she began to sag to the floor.
"Erin, donít worry about Mickey. He canít destroy what you and I have worked so hard to build and maintain. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you." Erin looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She gave herself over to heavy sobs. Robert crushed her face against his chest, feeling the wet tears soak through his shirt. "Erin, donít worry about ever losing me. I will never leave you. You have become the most precious thing in my life. You continually amaze me with the joy that you give me. I will not do anything, or hear anything, that will make me lose you! Believe me, please!"
"I believe you, Robert, with all my heart. I never want to do anything to ruin this wonderful love we have. Life does not have to continue this way. I could retire, maybe, the way you did. I donít know. Tell me what to do." She looked up to search his face, waiting for his answer.
"Youíll do what your heart tells you to do, I trust you. And we can make decisions together. Now, come on, itís time for us to be in bed. No sex, kinky or otherwise." He searched through the blanket to find her bare butt to pinch. Erin laughed against his chest. "Just sleep, to rest, and to heal, my darling. Just sleep." He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently on the pillow.
Control found it hard to get to sleep when he finally left his office and returned home. He sat in his living room and relived the past few days. On the plane, it had been easy to pretend she belonged to him. He gloried in her smile and her soft voice as they discussed the details of the other goals to be accomplished on the mission. He loved the way her mind worked, seeing the intricacies of the problem and formulating alternative solutions. It hurt so bad that he could not put his arm around her and draw her close as they sat together on the plane. He memorized her presence beside him in order to relive it again and again. On the return trip, she was exhausted after seventy-two long and harrowing hours without sleep. After the jet took off, he suggested she get some sleep. They lifted the arm of the seat between them, and the arm of the extra seat to the right of Erinís. She stretched out and he guided her head to settle it on his thigh. After he knew she was sound asleep, he stroked her hair and rested his hand on her shoulder. Once he ran his fingers across her cheek and let his hand drop to caress her breast, but she stirred and murmured Robertís name. No more of that, he thought. He leaned back in his seat and rested his hand on her shoulder once again before closing his eyes. The rest of the team had fallen asleep. A few hours later he felt Erin stir against his leg and her hand clasp his hand as it rested on her shoulder. She sat up with a bleary smile and playfully punched and pummeled his thigh.
"Not as soft as my own pillow," she teased.
"Yes, but itís the best youíll get around here," he laughed back. He pulled her head back to his lap and stroked her hair without worry this time. He rested his hand on her shoulder again as she fell to sleep. If she would allow this small amount of intimacy, it would be enough.
Control roused from his reverie. He unzipped his trousers and pulled his cock from inside. Closing his eyes, he brought Erinís image to mind and started to stimulate himself to hardness. As he continued to stroke his cock, he remembered touching her cheek and the fleeting caress of her breasts. He imagined her waking and pulling his hand from her shoulder to rest on her chest. He felt the soft mounds underneath her shirt. Her nipples stood out from the soft material of her shirt as she gained excitement from his caresses. He slipped his hand under her shirt to find bare skin and feel the hard nipples. He lifted her from the seat and slipped them both into the far seat against the bulkhead of the plane. She was on his lap, facing him. Knowing the rest of the team was asleep, he eased her shirt over her head to reveal the perfect breasts. Her nipples stood out in the excitement and danger of being discovered. He had Erin stand and pulled off her jeans and underwear at the same time that he worked off his own. His erection jutted up from his lap, resting against his stomach and partially hidden by his shirt. Erin sat astride his lap and unbuttoned his shirt. Knowing time was at a premium, she immediately positioned herself over his hard cock and lowered herself down on him. The sensation was exquisite. Control gathered some of the moisture from her vagina as his cock slipped in and out. He smoothed it over her anus and gently worked a finger inside. Erin moaned quietly with excitement and posted urgently up and down on his cock. He gathered more moisture and inserted a second finger into her ass. Her movements became uneven, her breathing ragged. Control stopped her and turned her around so that her back was against her chest. She raised her hips to allow him to guide his cock into her cunt once again. He put his hand between her legs and found her clitoris. Softly rubbing it, he encouraged her to once again move up and down on his cock. Erin undulated her hips in circles and back and forth in excitement. When he thought she was ready, Control stopped her downward descent and moved his cock from her wet pussy to place it at the opening of her anus. Erin understood and slowly lowered herself onto the gigantic shaft. Once she had him fully inside her, Erin cautiously began to grind and undulate her hips against him. Control caught his breath. The agony of silent pleasure was overwhelming. Control found her clit again and rubbed it harder. His other hand alternately teased and caressed the nipples of her breasts. Erin grew increasingly excited, her muscles clenching and unclenching in ecstasy. It was impossible. They had to be so quiet. Suddenly Control felt her orgasmic spasms and she leaned against him to give him full range to caress her clit as she climaxed. He continued to rub her clitoris as she came again and again. Her frenzied movements brought him quickly to the brink of his own orgasm and he grasped her hips as he pulled her down and down against him. He felt his cum explode into her hot ass.
Control opened his eyes and looked at the cum on his chest and stomach. This could be okay, he decided, if he could never have her for real. Fantasies would work, too. They had for years, why not now? He stood up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. Yes, he decided, Iíll get by, and cherish every moment spent with her. It will be okay.