Disclaimers: Not mine no matter how much I wish they were and I'm not making any money off of this no matter how much I wish I were ;)

Summary: Mickey contemplates his place in Robert's life after his first appearance on the show in China Rain.

Dark Thoughts

Licking his lips, he slowly slid the zip of his jeans down and struggled out of them -- not an easy feat when you wore them so tight. Mickey tossed his jeans in the corner and flopped back on the bed. When Control had called him to find out where he was going to be, he'd had no idea what the man wanted, but figured he should be prepared for anything. When McCall had shown up on the pier -- well, he hadn't quite known what to make of the situation. After disappearing from his life, the man who starred in most of his wet dreams was right there, talking to him, teasing him about keeping out of trouble.

Mickey gave a groan and pushed back into his pillows. McCall hadn't changed. He still had that shiver inducing voice and an amazing sense of style. Only McCall would come up with the idea of being the Equalizer, a handsome white knight for the downtrodden. He could just picture Robert McCall on a white charger. Mickey couldn't help but chuckle.

McCall might be the good guy to end all good guys but he understood what it was to be gray. When they'd first met McCall had told him that sometimes you had to learn to live in the darkness in order to keep it from encroaching on the light. It had helped him to learn to accept what he was capable of doing -- that and having McCall around kept him in the gray. When McCall had disappeared from his life, Mickey had found himself flung back into the darkness. He knew that he'd started to scare Control, he'd heard the rumors -- that he was a wildcard, a loose cannon, a killing spree waiting to happen. Mickey wondered what Control had told McCall. He certainly hadn't seemed surprised when Mickey had described himself as a whacko willing to put his hand in the fan. It didn't really matter what Control had told him.

McCall was only back in his life because he needed his help. Mickey's willingness to face anything and everything despite the odds would probably be a good thing. After all, McCall needed someone willing to do his dirty work and do it without backup. If that was what it took to keep McCall around him, at least part of the time, he was going to do just that.